smilingslowly:

spookywhiteghost:

fuckinglesbian:

princessnausicaa:

my mom tried to teach our goats to pee in one certain spot by giving them treats when they’d pee in that spot

except that

they think that now whenever they pee they get a treat

so whenever they see my mom

they pee

 laughed for a solid five minutes

behaviorism gone wrong

Pavlov is laughing in his grave


toastradamus:

no

the world is NOT a beautiful place

there is a fish that swims up urethras, anglerfish males dissolve their own face and turn into a gonad in order to reproduce, and there is a bug that drills his dick into the female because they don’t have vaginas

the world is a horrifying place


lennonlively:

i told this girl she smelled nice today and she’s like

“sorry i’m not gay”

bitch i said you smelled nice not i want to lick your pussy


thatfunnyblog:

that one line from mean girls no one seems to remember or quote extensively


australiansanta:

do i even have a sense of humour anymore or do i just laugh at badly worded sentences


legfruit:

there’s always those neighbour countries that sort of hate each other like new zealand and australia, britain and france, the rest of the world and america



chidoree:

if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock


dangerouspoetry:

"While I agree with your point, Josephine, capitalism is an unjust ideal and it won’t work anymore"


zooeyclairedeschanel:

zooeyclairedeschanel:

something went horribly wrong and dylan sprouse came out looking like a hot teen boy and cole’s crusty ass is out here lookin like a damn founding father of the united states

image

image

is it just me or did cole sprouse lowkey acknowledge my tumblr post