there is a fish that swims up urethras, anglerfish males dissolve their own face and turn into a gonad in order to reproduce, and there is a bug that drills his dick into the female because they don’t have vaginas
Today a boy actually told me that the fact that I date girls is a real turn-off for guys and that I will never find a boyfriend. He was being entirely serious and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed in someone’s face so hard.
high school friends are basically people who agree to survive together and it’s sort of like they’re your crew in a zombie apocalypse and after the apocalypse is over somehow you go on to living life and maybe occasionally you’d run into each other and be like “oh yes i see you still haven’t been eaten by zombies that is good” but you no longer have the need to survive together so that thing tying you to these people is just gone
i was in the car with my mum today and she stopped reversing and looks at me and was like “is that a hickey ??? On ur neck ?????? did a boy do that to u ????????? i thought u’d be alone forever on ur laptop.” the hickey was a bruise from where i accidentally shot myself in the neck with a nerf dart while trying 2 recreate a scene in star trek. my life is so pathetic even mum wants me 2 get some